not the outfit your wear but the attitude you wear it with
It is happening. Visit this post to see where I'm pulling the starter quotes from. An intellectual yet relational play in several parts.
Your personality and attitude are more important than the actual work product you create, because indispensable work is work that is connected to others.
- Seth Godin, Linchpin
I also heard this, in a different form, from the volunteer coordinator at an after school program for project kids in my city. She said, “I don’t actually care if these kids know how to do algebra. It would be nice, for sure - but what I really want is for them to have a relationship with you.”
That terrified me. I was there for a tour and an introduction, as I was interested in tutoring, so I kept smiling. And it was the last week of the school year, so I haven’t been back yet. But, school starts in something like three weeks (I cannot believe how early these people start school around here), and maybe this is something I should think about.
Why does that terrify me? My lizard brain is afraid. Building relationships with people who are not like me is new and strange and kicks the anxiety (fear of things that probably won’t happen) into extreme storytelling mode. Do the stories have any good details of things that might reasonably happen? Nope. Just the general feeling of dread and fear that should not come with making friends with tiny children who are growing up a little different than I did.
Do I believe that these kids having good relationships with adult humans will help them more than them knowing algebra or grammar? I am connected to knowing that relationships are more important than head knowledge.
I was great at head knowledge. I was a straight A student until college. I loved following all the rules in school, writing the perfect essays, acing the math tests. Delightful. But what made me crash and burn in college? Not having a great human support system.
I guess this is my pep talk. I am planning to return to the program when school starts. I hope that I will be up for more than algebra.
Where could you be building relationships if you quit worrying so much about the productivity?
Your personality and attitude are more important than the actual work product you create, because indispensable work is work that is connected to others.
- Seth Godin, Linchpin
I also heard this, in a different form, from the volunteer coordinator at an after school program for project kids in my city. She said, “I don’t actually care if these kids know how to do algebra. It would be nice, for sure - but what I really want is for them to have a relationship with you.”
That terrified me. I was there for a tour and an introduction, as I was interested in tutoring, so I kept smiling. And it was the last week of the school year, so I haven’t been back yet. But, school starts in something like three weeks (I cannot believe how early these people start school around here), and maybe this is something I should think about.
Why does that terrify me? My lizard brain is afraid. Building relationships with people who are not like me is new and strange and kicks the anxiety (fear of things that probably won’t happen) into extreme storytelling mode. Do the stories have any good details of things that might reasonably happen? Nope. Just the general feeling of dread and fear that should not come with making friends with tiny children who are growing up a little different than I did.
Do I believe that these kids having good relationships with adult humans will help them more than them knowing algebra or grammar? I am connected to knowing that relationships are more important than head knowledge.
I was great at head knowledge. I was a straight A student until college. I loved following all the rules in school, writing the perfect essays, acing the math tests. Delightful. But what made me crash and burn in college? Not having a great human support system.
I guess this is my pep talk. I am planning to return to the program when school starts. I hope that I will be up for more than algebra.
Where could you be building relationships if you quit worrying so much about the productivity?
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