comfortably alone

what separates groups of people? what divides us?

physical location. different languages. subconscious bias.

sometimes these seem like immovable barriers.

preferences separate us.

why don’t students like certain professors? teaching styles that don’t match learning styles. personalities we don’t care for. not enough appreciation of the student or interest in the subject.

why don’t you like a certain food? is this comparable to not liking other people? that might not be nice. but there are foods that you won’t eat. there are people you won’t talk to. there are foods you would eat every day if you could; there are people you would hang out with at every moment if you could. why is that?

why this comparison fails (or gets better): people get to choose who they are. foods don’t choose their flavors.

sometimes you eat foods you don’t like, because they are good for you – like certain vegetables, say. or maybe you eat them because your friend told you it was awesome – like that donut, or that beer, or – nothing at all.

sometimes you hang out with people you don’t like – because you think it would be good for them, or because you think it’s good for you – like doing the world a favor or god will smile at you or something. or maybe because you think you look cool. or because you don’t think you could be accepted by anyone else.

social tastebuds can be adjusted. was there a food you didn’t like when you were little, but either you started liking it or realized you never gave it an honest try? is there a group of people you’ve never approached? someone who looks intimidating (or friendly) but you never stopped to say hello?

way to meet new people: make up a survey and act very official but really be meeting new people. my favorite starts like this: “hello, i’m (me). i’m doing a survey to find out what motivates people to be alive. would you mind answering some questions?”

what separates groups of people who are in the same place and speak the same language? 

subconscious bias and a tendency to be introverted or talk to those who we already know, because it’s easy. cell phones.

it’s hard. but is it worth changing your habits to meet more people? think of all the stories you haven’t heard yet. is it worth it? decide. then go.

or stay. that chair looks cozy.