Sometimes, you have inspiration to do something, but no good ideas on how to do it well. Thus, this evening, I present to you:
thisfroshling Cooks Dinner
(and possibly dies of salmonella. But we'll get to that.)
A Recipe for Chicken Fajitas
1. Have your mother suggest you cook dinner.
Because otherwise, you'd just sit around watching YouTube videos for another hour.
2. Search for fajita seasoning.
Find it two inches in front of your face, in the big jar labeled "FAJITAS."
3. Put a tablespoon of it in a bowl with some water.
Because yum. Or something. Looks gross.
4. Hack apart a chicken! Also, start taking pictures. Because this, this is blog-worthy stuff right here.
But first, feel bad for the chicken. And think that it is gross.
Rawr.
Look! I can be domestic! But only when hacking apart small animals is involved.
5. Leave it in a bag.
(with the seasoning, and lime juice, and oil so that it looks a lot grosser than it did before)
What did the world do before Ziploc? *sigh* Those intrepid kitchen warriors.
6. Kill some vegetables.
Does it look like a rodent to anyone else? Anyone?
And try not to die of salmonella. But good Ness, rare meat just tastes so good. I am such a carnivore.
10. Go back to watching too much YouTube.
thisfroshling Cooks Dinner
(and possibly dies of salmonella. But we'll get to that.)
A Recipe for Chicken Fajitas
1. Have your mother suggest you cook dinner.
Because otherwise, you'd just sit around watching YouTube videos for another hour.
2. Search for fajita seasoning.
Find it two inches in front of your face, in the big jar labeled "FAJITAS."
3. Put a tablespoon of it in a bowl with some water.
Because yum. Or something. Looks gross.
4. Hack apart a chicken! Also, start taking pictures. Because this, this is blog-worthy stuff right here.
But first, feel bad for the chicken. And think that it is gross.
Rawr.
Look! I can be domestic! But only when hacking apart small animals is involved.
5. Leave it in a bag.
(with the seasoning, and lime juice, and oil so that it looks a lot grosser than it did before)
What did the world do before Ziploc? *sigh* Those intrepid kitchen warriors.
6. Kill some vegetables.
Does it look like a rodent to anyone else? Anyone?
Damn onions still make me cry.
6a. Milk break.
For some reason I think that milk will make me stop crying. Also maybe I'm dehydrated.
#HydrateOrDie
Also oh look, someone still has those totally-not-meant-for-alcohol glasses her wise high school gave out at her junior prom...
6b. Run away from memories by drowning your sorrows in milk.
7. Add fire!
Electricity, actually. I think. It's a weird stove. It just turns red, like demons are trapped inside and then get angry or something. Anyway...
7a. Have an impromtu dance party.
A requisite of any good cooking session.
8. Sacrifice the bird.
<rant> I really hate cooking chicken. I love eating it, it's great, but it is so hard to cook properly! I tried to roast a whole bird last week, and it took about an hour longer than it was supposed to and finally I put it in the microwave because it just wouldn't die (no worries, I wasn't microwaving a live chicken. Please do not be alarmed). Tonight whilst I was frying the bird I thought, surely, you just look at it and when it looks good it's done, right? NOPE </rant>
<tl;dr> Chicken refuses to cook. </tl;dr>
9. Admire your work.
10. Go back to watching too much YouTube.
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